May The Force Be With You
I’m not good speaking words. I’m good writing them.
Ever since I was born I’ve loved my sister more than anything.
Since my first memory, which is you as a toddler standing over me and hugging me, I’ve felt safe in life. You’ve always been there for me, even the times you didn’t want to be. You’ve been my mother, my translator, my roommate, my doctor, my sister and best friend.
Before November 2017, I thought of you as the weak one. Not in a bad way of any sort, but like because you were smaller then me. Because you seemed to have more emotions or fears then me. I always felt I had to take care of you. Kinda be your big “brother”.
But I realized though your actions, you are the opposite of weak. You are fierce and strong! You are a Force! Ooo new nickname!
F - Fierce
O - Omnipotent
R - Resilient
C - Compassionate
E - Elegant
You are fierce in the sense,
when you were first diagnosed
I wrongly thought that you’d be going to chemo kicking and screaming. I thought you’d be weak and afraid, and you may have been. But you never showed it. You always walked into chemo with your head held high and a smile on your face. You took every challenge in stride and faced it head on without a complaint.
You are Omnipotent. While you may not be all powerful just yet, you have moved through your journey unrestricted. Independent in spirit. Relaxed in mind and body. I never once heard a real complaint from you. You radiate strength and it is contagious.
You are Resilient! Look at life. Look at the shit it gave you. Look how you always grew back stronger. This nasty cancer showed up and you stood your ground and went to battle and won! Nuff said.
You are Compassionate. In chemo you gave out blankets to others. You feed the homeless when I buy them deodorant. I watch you interact with your friends, and even me. You always think of us over yourself. You kept asking me if I was okay last night. Seeing your relationship with your friends defines the word compassion.
You my darling are Elegant, both grandmothers would be proud. As I looked at you in the TV light last night as you slept, your down like hair glimmered and sparkled in the light; I thought how I’ve never seen you as beautiful as you were right then. You always walked with dignity and pride, with six hairs or a wig.
You’ll always be Big Red no matter the color of your hair, but from now on in my eyes, you’ll always have The FORCE
I’m so proud of you. I am so happy and blessed to have a sister like you. I love you more then words can say.